If you haven’t taken the quiz yet, stop reading… give it a try… and then come on back to this page. It will take you less than 5 minutes.
What Healthy Looks Like
Instead of boring you with endless facts about codependency, we’ve taken the specific situation from each quiz question and shown you how a healthy person would respond and how a codependent person would respond.
We hope it helps.
(For those who want the boring facts version, we’ve got that too.)
Quiz Question Videos
… it felt like it was your responsibility to make a parent happy. (If they were not happy, it felt like it was your fault.)
… your parents usually put your emotional needs above their own.
… saying ‘No’ is painful.
… you have the option of saying ‘No’.
… normally feel attacked, judged and defensive.
… listen openly to what they have to say.
… you’d probably agree.
… you would have a hard time accepting it.
… take an evaluation of the situation and chose a course of action.
… try to keep yourself busy so you won’t have to think about things.
… feel guilty even though you don’t know why.
… trust that they will be able to make things right.
… confident you’ll be able to follow through.
… overwhelmed and resentful.
… you’re able to answer honestly and quickly.
… you’re never quite sure how to answer.
… you are able to accept the fact that you’re not perfect.
… you are constantly looking for something that will change you.
… you say ‘Thank You’ with genuine appreciation.
… you don’t really like the attention.
… you find it hard to relax and have fun.
… you wish you had more time to relax and have fun.
… social worker.
… a friend.
… ignore them and hope they go away.
… admit you have them and find a way to deal with them.
… you usually worry that you are in the wrong.
… you wonder why they don’t see things your way.
… ask someone else what you should do.
… make the decision on your own.
… you keep it to yourself because, “It’s not that important anyways.”
… you take your time and give all the details.
… you’re willing to tell the truth, even if it’s painful.
… you’ve been known to lie so as not to tell.
… “Where ever you decide is okay with me.”
… “I think I’d like to go to [—insert favorite restaurant here—]”
… acknowledge the pain and take necessary steps to take care of yourself.
… tell yourself, “Other people have it worse off, so you shouldn’t complain.”
… being the helper.
… being the helpee.
… You are so enjoyable to talk with.
… You are so dependable.
… already have an idea of what they need.
… wait for them to tell you what they want.
… say what your really think, even if some people won’t like it.
… say what you think other people want you to say.
… Before or after most sentences.
… Only after someone tells you you’ve hurt them.
… like to be the group leader and in charge.
… like to have someone else be the leader.
… you say, “Fine” and quickly change the subject.
… you are willing to share with them as is appropriate.
… you ran over someone’s cat.
… someone was tired of you trying to helping them.
… offer advice, whether they ask for it or not.
… listen empathetically without helping them.
… went to your happy place because it was too uncomfortable.
… let them be angry.
… giving to others.
… letting others take care of you.
… empty, bored, even worthless.
… relieved, happy, and content.
… appropriate and enjoyable.
… nearly impossible.
… appropriate and necessary sometimes.
… rarely allowed.
… you’re helping others.
… you’re helping yourself.
… be thankful and appreciative by acknowledging of all the work you’ve done.
… enjoy the experience you helped create.
… glad they can take care of themselves.
… demeaned, hurt and/or offended.
… a partner that was an alcoholic, addict, or had a compulsive personality.
… normal, healthy, person who owned a cat.
… it was up to you to keep the family functioning.
… it was your parent’s responsibility to keep the family functioning.
… give them one more chance—for the 14th time.
… you begin to separate yourself from in order to remain safe.
… wouldn’t really know how to define the friendship.
… would find a new way to relate to your friend.