Transcript Of Video
One of the questions on the quiz was, more often than not you have ended up in a relationship, oh a typo again, a relationship with who? A person that was an alcoholic, addict or had some sort of compulsive personality or behavior? Or number two, a healthy normal person who owned a cat?
You know, except for the cat, if you are co-dependent, then you answered the first one for sure. Co-dependent people are always looking, they’re always trying to find broken people. When you can find someone who is an addict, co-dependency actually came out of the 12-step system and the alcoholics, or someone who has a compulsive addiction or personality.
Co-dependent people need to find people who are broken so that they can move into their strong mode, the co-dependent mode, which is for all those people, “I am going to now fix them. I now have something that I can do for them, which gives me a sense of worth, gives me a sense of value, gives me a sense of identity.”
Now, what this means, though, is you’re always, always, always surrounded and have your life in chaos because addictions, alcoholism, compulsive behaviors, that can be sex, stealing, drugs, anything behavioral here. This is a very chaotic life, this is a life that doesn’t have any peace. It is frustrating and exhausting and tiring, and so you are always in a constant of panic. You’re always in a constant state of turmoil.
It is a way of living that is exhausting. If you have moved from one relationship to the next relationship, to the next relationship, to the
next relationship and all of them have, kind of, this theme of you’re always with someone who seems to have an issue that needs to be worked on, and they’re causing kind of panic and turmoil in your life, then you more than likely are co-dependent.
Relationships are supposed to be equitable. They’re supposed to be balanced. You’re supposed to be able to be relating to someone who is
normal and healthy and they might not have a cat. They might have a dog, or they might have something else, but their life is in balance. They’re not always in panic, they’re not always in turmoil, they’re not always wrestling with some other issue in their life that is taking over a lot of emotional or physical or financial resources.
This is what you’re called to do as a human being. You are supposed to find health and normalcy. If you find yourself in this other one, in this first thing, then it would be well worth your time to figure out and to learn how to move out of this co-dependent relational style and move into a more healthy, normal, easy, calm, peaceful way of living. That’s what you are called to do.