Transcript Of Video
One of the questions was do you feel most secure when you are giving to others or letting others take care of you?
Again, this is a fairly straight-forward question, if you’ve seen some of these other videos, giving to others is what a co-dependent person is bred to do. They actually despise letting others take care of them. Here’s the important thing about this question though. It’s this word right here, you feel most secure when you are giving to others.
Co-dependent people, or if you’re co-dependent, you’re trying to alleviate any sense of uncomfortability or discontent in your life and you actually feel most secure, you feel safest, when you’re helping other people. You actually become addicted to other people’s problems, because now you get to solve them. And that addicted part is about security. You are safe dealing with this stuff right here.
Co-dependent people hate, hate the idea that if others take care of you then you’re going to become a burden, you’re going to become a problem, and you are going to, therefore, these two things equal you are bad. And so, you want to avoid that completely, and so you find safety and security in other people’s problems.
To become healthy, to move into a healthier direction, you have to find your security in something else. You have to choose another option so that you can actually no longer be drawn towards people who have problems. That’s one of the things about co-dependent people as well, they are just like magnets to people with problems, because you’re addicted to their problems and solving them.
And so, your security, your safety has to be found in other things, and typically the best option for that is your own value. Understanding that you have worth, that you’ve been created in a way that you are good, and that you are precious, and that you are important just because of who you are.
Those things right there are essential to change your sense of security and have a different foundation, a different solid ground to start living your life on. When you change the thing that you find your security in, you start to become healthier.