Transcript Of Video
Welcome to another video from Codependency Quiz.com. This is the Answer Sheet.
One of the questions on the quiz was when, someone asks you how are you feeling; are you able to answer honestly and quickly or are you never quite certain how to answer?
If you’re codependent, then this is where you’re living. You’re never quite sure how to answer and that’s because a codependent person has lost the ability or has become numb to being able to determine or understand what your own feelings are.
A codependent person becomes so focused on everyone else’s; other people’s feelings, other people’s needs. Even if those are real needs or only perceived needs, you’re always focused on the other and you’re never able to balance yourself out.
Now, a healthy approach to all of this is, and this is kind of the root of where codependency; getting over codependency; or changing codependent relational styles. You’re taking care of others, because you see value in them, you want them to feel good; you want them to feel taken care of; you’re trying to give them what you actually want; you want care you want to feel good; you want to feel valuable. And so, starting to overcome codependency means that you simply apply the same things you do for other people to yourself.
You take care of people, but the thing that you forget is that you are a people too; you are a person; your needs are just as valid and legitimate as everyone else’s needs.
Now, I’m not trying to help you become selfish. We’re not trying to help you become self-focused, selfish-ish–that’s what I just spelled.
Let’s try that again.
We’re not helping you become selfish; we’re helping you become balanced.
It is impossible to care for other people if you don’t care for yourself first; If you don’t actually consider yourself as a people as well. And so we’re only asking that you start to treat yourself the exact same way you’re going to be treating other people.
That means, that you are going to start to learn how to become aware of what your own feelings are, and feelings, you know, what do you want and what do you need?
Many people who are highly codependent actually have lost feeling with their bodies as well. They’re not sure if they’re hungry, if they’re thirsty, if they’re tired. They don’t know if they need to rest or they need to work; they’ve lost all feeling all together.
If that’s kind of you, and you’ve become disconnected from your physical world, then chances are you have become highly codependent. And the way to move out of that again is just to stop focusing on everyone else’s needs and start considering you, as a person who has needs as well; and start to meet your own needs.
When you do that, your feelings are going to start coming back and you’ll be able to start making decisions in a much more balanced and healthy way.
When you can do that, life gets much, much better for you.