Transcript Of Video
Welcome, once again, to Codependency Quiz. We’re going through the answer sheet. And this is one of the questions that was on the quiz. When someone asks you, “How are you feeling?” Do you say, “I’m doing fine,” and then quickly change the subject and get off of it? Or you’re willing to share with them as is appropriate?
Right here is the favorite codependent answer. When someone asked, “How are you feeling?” Your job as a codependent person is always be good. You always need to be fine. You always need to be okay, because anything else might mean that you are bad, that you need help, that you’re not doing okay.
Codependent people can’t ask for help. They don’t like any attention or any focus to be on them, because their whole purpose in life is to make sure they help someone else. And they kind of forget about themselves. And they don’t ever want to understand that they are bad in any way.
So even if it’s not true, even if you’re just lying to your teeth, you’re saying, “I’m doing fine. I’m doing good. I’m doing okay.” That’s the social answer, as well. Some when someone comes up and ask, “How are you doing?” “I’m fine.” That’s not what we’re talking about. We’re talking about when someone actually has some concern for you, and they say, “How are you feeling?” So we’re not talking about that. A healthy person is willing to share.
And again, as appropriate, you don’t have to life story. You don’t have to break down every little problem. You don’t have to disclose more than you need to. But when someone approaches you and genuinely ask, “How are you doing?” And they are safe person, and it’s an appropriate person to share with, then it’s a good thing. It’s a healthy thing to be able to say, “Right now, I’m struggling a little bit with something.”
If you are hurting or worried… or doing “I’m doing good,” you know, “I had a good day,” as long as your answer is honest. This honesty is really, really difficult for a lot of codependent people, because, again, it runs a risk of looking bad or needing help.
Find the balance. It’s okay to be helped when you need it. And it’s okay to help other people when they need it. That balance is all about overcoming codependency and living a good and healthy life.