Transcript of Video
One of the questions was, you feel more worthy as a human being when you’re helping other people or you’re helping yourself might sound like a little bit of a tricky question, but as a co-dependent person if you are helping other people then that’s when you feel more worthy.
It is good. It is healthy to have a balance in your life. Sometimes you need to help yourself and sometimes you need tohelp others, but a co- dependent person has a real hard time being able to help them self . They’re always focused. They’re always aware of what other people are wanting, and trying to control their emotions or trying to change their feelings and they’re trying to always, always take care of this other person.
Now again, if you’re doing that in a balanced way then that is called selflessness. That is a good option. That is what we are called to do when we see other people hurting then we are supposed to meet their needs in an appropriate way. Co-dependency though when you are trying to help other people and you’re always helping other people and you feel more worthy when you’re helping other people is actually manipulative. It is manipulative because you’re actually helping the other person here in order to make yourself feel more worthy.
Again, it is this theme right here. When you use other people to feel worthy then that is always manipulative. It’s never being done from a place of selflessness. It’s never being done from a place of openness. You’re more focused on your feelings rather than actually truly on their situation. You’re hoping to get something in return, which is regulation of those discomfort, those uncomfortable feelings in yourself or you’re looking for accolades or attention or affirmation from that other person as well.
Again, it’s back to this balance idea. I want you to be able to help other people and I want you to be able to help yourself. I want both of those when you are doing either one of those in an appropriate time to give you a sense of worth. When it’s out of balance and you’re only feeling that way when you help other people then you know you’re out of balance and you probably need to do some work to deal with some of the co-dependent kind of styles in your life.