Transcript Of Video
Hey, welcome back to Codependency Quiz.com. This is the Answer Sheet.
One of the questions on the quiz was, after saying yes to a request, you most often feel either confident you’ll be able to follow through or overwhelmed and resentful. Right there is the codependent answer.
And why does someone feel overwhelmed and resentful after saying yes Well, that’s because you have said yes an awful lot, you’ve said yes to this person over here; you’ve said yes to this person over here, this person over here, this person over here; here; here; here. This is your life. You are saying yes to everybody, because everyone has learned that you are the helpful person; you’re the one who likes to take care of people; you’re the one who will always be available; you’re the one who’s going to be able to fix all of their things. And so people have come to learn to depend upon you; and so when the 17th person now says hey, can you help me out? You give that yes answer one more time to them.
You don’t feel confident that you’re going to be able to follow through because you already have to take care of this person here and then this person here. And you know person number three here comes into conflict with person number four’s needs, and person number four comes into conflict with what number seven has, and you’ve already rescheduled yourself for all of this. And so person number five is conflicting with person number ten. And you know number ten conflicts with number 15, 8, and 13 down here. And so it’s just a mess. It becomes this tangled mess of spaghetti.
Anybody would feel overwhelmed trying to maintain this life; this is exhausting; this does not work, and this is not how you were built to live. You were built to be able to say when you say yes to something, you need to be able to say no to everything else.
Being able to say yes is actually more about saying no to this thing, and this thing, and this thing, and this thing, and this thing, and this thing, and this thing, and this thing, and this one, and this one. And so you start actually getting rid of all these things.
The most successful people in the world don’t have large to-do lists. They actually have very large not to do lists because they say I just don’t have the time or the energy or the resources to make everything happen. And so I’m going to focus on this one and this one. These two are the only things I’m going to do. And these are the things I’m going to get good at.
I’m going to trust that whatever needed to be taken care of here, someone else will come along and take care of that or the person who needed the help, they’ll be able to figure it out for them self; I don’t have to save them; I don’t have to fix them.
I’m going to be basing my life on these things right here. And now, managing two things, that is very possible. That is not difficult at all.
That’s where a healthy person can live.